Weddings + Family Dynamics

We have all heard the saying, “weddings (and funerals) bring out the worst in people”. Now with that being said, they can also bring out the best in some people. Many people agree to put aside their differences for such a special occasion but sometimes that doesn’t always happen. I believe people typically have the best intention but when emotions come into play it’s not so easy for people to make responsible and logical decisions. I once heard TD Jakes say “You will never win a a battle if you are having a heart experience in a head fight”. Now clearly, this isn’t a battle or a fight but the premise is the same when it comes to taking actions and making decisions from a logical standpoint (head experience) vs an emotional place (heart experience). And the bottom line is many people can’t seem to truly set aside their feelings.

So how do we deal with this?

First, it’s very important to understand that weddings are special events that tend to pull on the heart strings. Even wedding planning itself! I tell potential couples during our consultation that this is not just a money exchange, it is a financial investment as well as an emotional investment as me and my couples build a very close relationship during the process.

With understanding that part, know that transparency is key! It is truly the thing that will set you up for success in wedding planning. As a planner that focuses on creating an experience, know that I care about the experience that is created for you, your family, your friends and all other guests. So if you are transparent with us from the beginning we can set proper boundaries and strategically plan for the experience of those family members and friends whose emotions may get the best of them.

Trust + Confidentiality

I know that having conversations about family dynamics is not always easy. There is sometimes a level of embarrassment surrounded about this topic. Other times people feel as if they are being disloyal is sharing their family “secrets”. I completely understand that sentiment. Trust me, I come from a family that believes “what goes on in my house, stays in my house”. And to add, I also come from a blended family.

Please know that I promise to always handle that type of information gently and responsibly. I care so much about my clients privacy that there are actually phrases in my contract that protects both me them. So not only will I give my word and stand by it, there can also be legal ramifications if there is a true breach by either party.

Beyond all those elements remember that although your situation is unique, we as wedding professionals have the skills to plan through even the toughest family dynamics.

On one our next blogs we’d like to go deeper into combating specific situations that commonly arise during wedding planning and family dynamics such as ceremony seating, divorced parents with special requests toward the other parent, estranged parents or siblings, welcome speeches and toasts, wedding day roles, etc.

We trust our candor is helpful. Please feel free to email us with questions or any suggestions you have that helped in navigating your family dynamics at your event.